greenman: (Default)
(I have no idea where this came from originally... if some knows, please inform me so that I may apply attribution)


DOG DIARY


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fedhash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for therations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order tokeep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream ofescape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on thecarpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at theirfeet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since itclearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely madecondescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I
am. Jerks!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I wasplaced in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that myconfinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what thismeans, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successfulin an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around hisfeet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at thetop of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies andsnitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviouslyretarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe himcommunicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports myevery move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in anelevated cell, so he is safe. For now...


























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greenman

May 2009

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